The National Hardwood Floor Association
Savage Vigilance for a Rug-Free America
1993
pranks

#    Title    Time    Info  
1 Intro 0:06
2 Trouble concentrating when praying (only when I masturbate) 1:23
3 Church of the Subgenius (Bob) 7:08
4 Looking for a Good Christian Abortionist 1:51
5 Brain Tumor (Try a new salad dressing) 1:51
6 Velma - grandchildren - beans, macaroni & pork chops 0:46
7 Herb - oh well, we'll probably all be blown up anyway 1:08
8 Buy back offensive music (reduced price), they'll be out cash 0:28
9 Brain Tumor again - praise report: Jesus healed me! 0:32
10 Artificial Insemination - Sex (God's plan for married couples) 2:30
11 Live at Night phone numbers (KPDQ, Portland) 0:22
12 Permanent Makeup commercial 0:35
13 Gays in Military (frontline) - spirit of Jesus came upon me 2:23
14 Jesus in ice cream (bi-level mediating influence) 3:18
15 Salvation is more nutritious (choose burger king) 1:19
16 Christian Youth Program in High School (feedback) 1:58
17 Michael Jackson Jehovah's Witness (fuck me jerry i'm lonely) 3:27
18 Crank call description - Unrelated? Forget it. 0:53
19 Compulsive eater - Christian counseling (switch to yogurt) 4:48
20 Live At Night promo message 0:26
21 Gwem - Persian Gulf war, Iraqi big gold atoms 3:54
22 2 Live Crew, Bob (revelations) Satan's alive&well in Portland 1:58
23 Immaculate speculations, inordinate dysfunctionalism, comfort? 16:14
24 14 1/2 min silence, speak directly in phone... 15:32
Total time 59:11